


Mirror Mirror

by impish_nature



Series: Shattered [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Though there might be a sequel - that will make things at least a bit better, Warning: Bad mental state, Warning: intrusive thoughts, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7974688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impish_nature/pseuds/impish_nature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just run away from your problems. That’s the smart thing to do.</p><p>Prompts: 'Write something that begins and ends with glass breaking’ and ‘Write from the perspective of a character who has just decided to run away from their life’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Last Stream update 7/7 fics from a 14-15? hour stream session! ♥

It started with a crash.

It started with a fist connecting with the image he saw before him.

Stan had found himself in front of the mirror once again, hours after he had argued with his brother. Another meeting, another argument. That’s all they ever seemed to do. He found himself staring at the face, unable to really look away, so like his twin but so different, more so now after thirty years apart.

Oh so different now from his twin.

It was all wrong. None of this should have happened.

His brother should be happy to be home!

 _He should be grateful_!

Stan bit his lip, shaking his head at the thoughts. That wasn’t right, he knew that. He didn’t want his brother to be grateful. He just wanted him back.

That had been the whole point.

But even with him back physically, he’d still lost him.

He’d lost him a long time ago.

How could he have ever have expected to do something right for once?

_He should have never fallen through the portal in the first place._

Stan nodded with the thought, shoulders slumping as he stared at himself. They should never have argued, Ford should never have fallen through, they shouldn’t have spent thirty years apart all because he couldn’t just listen for once in his life and do as he was told!

Fire burned behind his eyes, vicious and hot and full of self-loathing as he glared at himself, disgusted by what he saw before him.

_All your fault._

Everything was, it always had been. A chain of events that he always sparked, dominoes he couldn’t help but kick over and then stand back and watch the fallout, never able to _do_ anything to halt the motions. One mistake after another, constant and painful.

_You ruined your own life!_

He’d started everything by breaking that science project. It all boiled down to that, didn’t it? That’s how Ford saw it anyway.

So he guessed it must be true. If the genius could connect the dots to all the way back then, then it must be true.

_Your fault! Your fault! Always. Always, your fault!_

The image before him shattered before he even realised he’d put his fist through it.

He blinked at the damage he had caused, the shocked pale face staring back at him, split in two and fragmenting as he watched.

Splitting at the seams.

He’d built so many lies around him, a wall building higher and higher to protect him from the world. Layer upon layer, brick upon brick.

But there was nothing to protect him from Ford.

Nothing to protect him from the truth of it all.

The mask was breaking, falling away piece by piece as the mirror broke.

Who was he? Under it all?

Was there much of Stanley Pines left?

_Once the summer is over I want my name back, I want my house back and this mystery shack stuff is over for good._

Stan stared at what was left of him in the mirror, hand up by his chest as he rubbed at his stinging knuckles and made a decision.

_What’s the point of waiting until the end of summer?_

_I’ll just ruin something else if I stay._

* * *

“Ok, Stan, you can do this. It’s better this way. Just get out of their hair. They don’t need you. Sure, the kids might get upset but they’ll get over it.” Stan took a deep breath, staring at the shack through the car window. He’d packed what he’d needed, travelling light. He wasn’t sure where he was headed, just that he needed to go. But something was stopping him, something was keeping him there.

_Coward. Say goodbye to them. They deserve that much from you._

He shook his head. That would put Ford in a difficult situation. He knew Mabel at least would fight his corner and he was sure Dipper would too, even if he’d been mistrusting of him just before Ford came through the portal. He didn’t want Ford to be obliged to let him stay, the kids’ ire was a force to be reckoned with, he’d learnt that the hard way. Or there was the other possibility- that Ford would go through with his plan, let him leave and not try to stop him. Which would just make the kids hate him – _would it? –_ before even they got a chance to know him.

Ford didn’t deserve his family hating him when he’d only just made it home.

Ford was angry, he understood that.

He’d lost him years ago, it just hadn’t sunk in until Stan had seen him again.

Hope was a monster of a thing to hold on to.

Stan took another deep shuddering breath, eyes going hard as he finally started the engine.

He wouldn’t stay where he wasn’t wanted.

Though he didn’t know where that meant he could go.

_All your fault, why would he want you hanging around?_

Stan bit his lip as he reversed the car in stuttering jerky motions. He cursed at the loudness of it all, the splutter and clatter of the machinery, the rumbling choke of the engine. The clunky old thing couldn’t just be quiet for once in its long life-

 _Heh_ , Stan smiled thinly. _Guess we’re perfect for one another then._

A light flickered on above him, a silhouette that he hadn’t expected, tall and imposing in the harsh window frame around it. He shuddered at the sight, a spark of recognition and fear thrumming through him.

A similar night.

An imposing figure.

Left in the dark with just his car and a duffle bag.

No one to help him…no one who cared…

Stan’s hands shook as he quickly pulled away, eyes firmly locked away from the shack as his stomach tied itself in knots, not knowing whether the curtains opened and Ford actually looked out at him or not. Whether he had just turned away like he had once before.

He’d wanted to make a quick getaway.

Quick and quiet and easy, no messy goodbyes, no more arguments.

No more messing things up for everyone.

_You can’t even do that right!_

He couldn’t seem to get his hands to stop shaking.

It was like the world was punishing him for everything he did.

Now his last memory of the house he had lived in for thirty years-

Overlapped with the memory of a childhood torn away from him.

Why couldn’t he had just one memory, just one peaceful moment to comfort him?

Why did everything have to be spoiled?

_You had the twins._

The world seemed less grey in that moment, his mind giving him a reprieve from the onslaught of viciousness, a soft warmth filling him up from the inside.

The kids…this summer had been better than forty years combined.

And he did have more than a handful of good memories of the kids to keep him going now.

He even had that very morning before the portal was restarted and things fell to pieces again.

Fireworks and water fights. A relaxing lazy morning before everything went to hell.

Stan smiled, falling into the happier thoughts.

The kids laughing, the kids smiling at him.

Growing to love them.

Fishing trips and zombies. Dinosaurs and Summerween.

Silly little moments, sat in front of the TV watching movies.

Big old moments, protecting the shack from someone who tried to take it from them.

Stan huffed out a laugh, a dark sad sound that rang hollow and empty through the car.

He’d beaten one person to keep the shack safe, only to have someone else take it away from him.

The laughter died on his lips, Ford’s glare showing through his mind’s eye again. He could hear him now.

_I haven’t taken anything from you! This was always my home._

He was right as usual.

Stan hated how right he was about everything all the time.

Hated how different they were.

Polar opposites.

If Ford was always right, then he could only ever be wrong.

_It’s always been that way._

With his mind too entrenched in his spiralling thoughts, he never saw the car that ran the red light.

He heard the car horns far too late, dragging his eyes off to the side to see it hurtling towards him, unable to stop, his own pale and indifferent expression superimposed onto the glass pane.

_Man, I really should have said something to the kids._

There was a crunch of metal, the tinkling clatter of glass hitting tarmac and the echoing screech of tyres.

And then a slow descent into a cloying cold silence.

…It ended with a crash.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I ended the stream with such angst XD  
> But - there might be more, possibly tomorrow to get it done ^^;


End file.
